Captain’s Log: About Relationships and the Lotus Effect


This girl is like the Lotus Flower, cleaning the dirty water around her. Cherish her. She will make you a family. “– Boys over Flowers

Embrace messages from TV, lol!


This Korean Drama that I’ve been watching for a few weeks has been a 25-episode long metaphor about the Lotus Medicine! It is a silly, cheesy, over dramatic teen drama full of angst, terrible plot holes and fan service scene. In a nutshell: every relationship ever. Geum JanDi, the main character, wins a scholarship for a school for the super-rich families of Korea. She is immediately being pushed around by everyone in her environment, it goes from simple name-calling, attempt murder, attack on her family’s business and finally her house being destroyed by the “Old Witch”, the mother of a super-rich guy who’s in love with her. Now, why is that relevant? Hmm?

Geum jandiYes, the teachings of the Lotus would have been completely lost under these huge avalanche of clichés and Asian TV Tropes, if it hadn’t been for a guide poking me in the right direction. Gomabseubnida! Pighting!

Geum JanDi always powers through it, washing away all the mud that is thrown her way by the Old Witch. Through adversity, she stays, strong clean and dignified.

If I haven’t said it once I haven’t said it a thousand times: my environment is one of the most important thing for me. Ever since I’ve been living in my own “space” (read here: not at my parent’s), I became very tidy and clean, and it did me really good. Like the Turkish saying: Clean Hands, Clean Heart. I treat my environment as one of my vital organ. If it is great, I feel great. It took an even greater meaning in the last years, since I started observing everything happening around me in a circular way in order to understand Indigenous Dreaming and to learn how to live in its trail. That’s also when I realised I was hypersensitive… to sounds, smell, touch, freaking vibrations, let alone people!

Yes, my environment encompasses other people, so it means that the relationships I have with them are closely woven into how I pick up dream symbols. Most people around have no idea that I observe them in such a way. But it is difficult for me not to speak about it, because it brings me a lot of teachings. Some of them are, to a degree, curious about it and it makes me happy to share with them. I feel like I’m creating a link with them, (or at least, with their dreamer!) between their situation and mine. Receiving stories and seeing them through and sharing medicine is how I relate to people being elements of my environment. That’s how I touch Inter-relationships, this is how I find gems in people.

But you know, some people are just not relationship material. Before I start receiving hate mail about how everyone is perfect, let me make this clear. In biology, relationships between organisms that share the same environment is defined as symbiosis. There is 3 types of relationships between organisms in the same environment, here they are:

Mutualism: Both organisms benefit from the relationship. It is a win, win situation (+/+)

Commensalism: One organism benefits from the relationship, the other receive feels no effect from the relationship (+/0)

Parasitism: One organism benefits at the expense of another organism (+/-)

I think you know where I am headed with this. People mimic these types of relationship in real life! The parasite will take the resources you have to offer and will give you things that are detrimental to you in exchange. As we are human and not bacteria, we give the benefits of the doubt, we try to communicate, to understand the parasite, but it doesn’t change the fact that the host is being drained out. Don’t get me wrong, being a parasite is not bad in itself, but being in a relationship with one is detrimental. When you offer your tidy clean environment to them is even worst, they do NOT want to leave.parasite9

Yes, I had brought filthy people in my close environment, and it has affected me in more ways than one. Every time I let them into my life, I usually know about their dirtiness and I don’t mind it, because it is their own and I feel that everyone can bring you something to the table… I realised that my attitude in relationship is a mix of curiousness, hypersensitivity and a weirdly placed compassion; I start to help and support them, in order to have them change their situations. But these kind of people, they (inevitably) end up throwing their mud at me and in my environment… So I go ahead and clean up the messes they caused. After all, I can’t wait on them to clean up after themselves…!

I know, I’m a huge fool for thinking I ever was in a position to help parasites; parasites help themselves exclusively, external “help” is not considered as such. Cleaning and transforming is a part of my true nature and I have projected it onto others. Not everyone wants to transform themselves, not everyone wants to be clean. Some people want to just be in their own filth, some people want to use things that you have to make themselves stronger… and you know what, there is nothing wrong about it. Parasitic relationships is an inherent part of natural symbiosis. And there is no “Right or Wrong” in nature. It can speak about the unavoidability of death, for instance. Parasites people ooze Thanatos, instinct of death, without being aware of it. They do not understand their role, they are not conscious of their actions. They are doing what is most comfortable, natural for them to do, which is taking, consuming, killing, finding another host.

How about the law of attraction, you say? If you attract filth, you must be filth, right?

It took me almost a full year to understand that I was experiencing the laws of nature and not of the law of attraction. No, I am not attracting dirty because I am dirty; I just had to understand something very specific about “surviving” relationships and how I was working as a medicine person. The experience I had with those disgusting people made me embrace the medicine of the Lotus Flower. I see you rolling your eyes! So New-Age, right? Everything is “New-Age” when it is use without being anchored, or if it doesn’t bear meaning. So there:

I paddle against trash, gunk and dead bodies being eating away by fishes and birds… at the center lays a beautiful blue Flower. A child sitting on it blooming core, emitting silver light.


The lotus flower, despite growing in muddy, filthy water remains spotless. The petals and leaves’ surface is rough and coated with wax. With not a lot of surface contact, dirt stays at the points of those rough bumps and the wax, a naturally water-repellent substance, makes the water slide across the surface, thus cleaning dirt on its way off. This phenomenon is called superhydrophobicity, or more poetically the Lotus Effect. It allows the plant to be clean and free of bacteria, even in the most disgusting of environment. The Lotus doesn’t allow any dirt to stay on it.

The Lotus is telling me that I must instill cleanliness in my relationships: the Lotus cleans itself of parasites, bacteria and dirt. I shall become a rough, waxy, mystical Flower and instead of trying to balance other people, taking on their dirt. I have to let it slide right back where it comes from. Your environment is full of parasites and there is nothing you can do about it? Brush it off, and see how long they will last. They will find another person really fast since they cannot survive on their own.

For years, when I could not shake the dirt; I changed environment completely. But the lotus grows and stands despite the dirt in its environment, it transforms itself what is directly around it. Now that I understand that my environment and relationships are but one big symbiotic system, I know that even if I change my environment without cleaning my relationships, the draining will remains. But with this exploration, I feel those parasites will be easier to identify and to remove. They will flow back directly into the water and of course, find another body to feed off, since they cannot survive on their own. Vampire is as vampire does. They will be feeding and killing, because that is their nature… so might as well let them do their things, but I will not tolerate them any longer in my space. At this point it becomes an exercise in discernment and detachment.

Good thing that my family name means wax…! 😉

Blue Lotus Flower wallpaper 14.jpg



Sum, ergo ego

Good perspective on ego, in my opinion!

Upon Raven Wings

Elsewhere on the internet today, someone asked a question about why it seems like everyone is hating the ego these days. What I thought would originally be a short response turned out to be a little more involved – since I think this question and my response to it would fit here, I’m posting it 🙂

“Funny how words get changed over the years. ‘Ego’ at its root simply refers to the self.

I think the problem is more with inflated egos than with ego itself; and I think a lot of people don’t understand the difference … it’s a sort of mass knee-jerk reaction, where people hear about the dangers of inflated and overly-gratified egos and think elimination of the ego is the best solution. I knew a man once who tried to kill a mosquito with a shotgun – it’s much the same with ego. There is also…

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Insulting Women: Flyting in Old Norse Literature — WE ARE STAR STUFF

Very interesting read!!


Verbal duelling is a major part of the sagas and Eddas, as a substitute for other kinds of violence. Mostly it happens between two men, who accuse each other of cowardice, effeminacy, and general unmanliness. However, there are incidents of male – female flyting as well, with men and women trading insults, usually much the […]

via Insulting Women: Flyting in Old Norse Literature — WE ARE STAR STUFF

Quote: Culture of Pity

“Some have dared to call pity a virtue (in every noble ethic it is considered a weakness); and as if this were not enough, it has been made the virtue, the basis and source of all virtues. To be sure—and one should always keep this in mind—this was done by a philosophy that was nihilistic and had inscribed the negation of life upon its shield. Schopenhauer was consistent enough: pity negates life and renders it more deserving of negation.

Pity is the practice of nihilism. To repeat: this depressive and contagious instinct crosses those instincts which aim at the preservation of life and at the enhancement of its value. It multiplies misery and conserves all that is miserable, and is thus a prime instrument of the advancement of decadence: pity persuades men to nothingness!”

— Nietzsche, The Antichrist

by DA user Satanoy

Captain’s log: The Path of Lies

Mentir est le talent de ceux qui n’en ont pas. – Épître sur la Calomnie, Marie-Josèphe de Chénier

Free translation : “Lying is talentless person’s talent

fox hare
Hare and Fox by Jackie Morris
LIES are complex. They are first of all a mean, like money, medicinal herb, to get you somewhere. Lying encompasses the ideas of manipulation, deceit (even temporary), power and control… and to a certain extent, victimhood.

It starts in the EAST of the Medicine Wheel because it has to do with the perception of the liar in the eyes of others. Lies are a way to manipulate others, appealing to either their logic or their emotions (depending on the individual weakness/strong-point), in order to make them believe something that is untrue.

  • There are basically two kinds of liesOmission and Commission. In the first, you omit certain details, in the other you fabricate details (half-truths) or the whole thing.
  • There are 3 types of intent for each types of liesWhite lies (beneficial lies to others) Grey lies (ranging from beneficial to the liar to ill-intend towards others) Black lies (malicious lies detrimental to others).* From the book On being a Shit by Dr. Jane F. Gilgun.

Lies have different intents but are always targeted to shape the emotional response of an audience, it all depends on how you want them to react.

Need some more images? Let’s craft an example…

A co-worker wants to take Friday off to attend a 3-days event in a faraway town. She has no vacation days left and your team is working on a time sensitive project and is overloaded. There is no way she will be given a special day off without a good reason. In order to get what she wants, she uses a situation that got her off work before: she said that the judge wanted to meet her and her ex-husband again for a final, final meeting. Not only she can skip work on Friday, she receive emotional support and validation from her boss and help from you because you will now take care of her part of the time-sensitive work. She leaves confidently and enjoy the event. This is a GREY COMMISSION LIE.

Now, let’s say you have suspicion about the divorce story, because as a court-divorcee, you know that all judgements are final and when a payment has been made, there is no matter to be discussed face to face anymore. You see on Facebook that she is spend the week-end in a faraway town, then you connect the dots, you tell your boss and the rest of your team. Come Monday, the lying co-worker explains in great details how she might be able to squeeze more money out of her ex-husband and fail to mention the event. Everyone knows she is lying to you but they all answer something along the lines of “This is great” because they desperately need help and are ready to brush aside the truth. This is a GREY OMISSION LIE.

And this is the Path of Lies. Lies cause lies.


I encountered two stories of PATH OF LIES, let’s start with PINOCCHIO’S PATH.


Pinocchio is a wooden puppet that was given life by the magical Blue Fairy who heard the wish of the pure-hearted Carpenter Geppetto. As he is exploring life without strings to become a real boy, the ambitious little creature starts to tell lies and get himself and the people around him in trouble. His nose grew each times he lied; a picturesque way to explain not to tell lies because they can become bigger and bigger, becoming a burden for you and hinder your movement and path. There is of course a much more spiritual approach to it. It is about the exploration of FREE WILL, in the masonic sense. Before becoming a real boy, Pinocchio have to detach himself from his ego, not without exploring every possible shortcuts.

Make you think of something? There is complete article on the metaphysical take on Pinocchio’s adventure that you can find here.

Now, the dreaming works in a circular way. My exploration of lying lead me to the story of Pinocchio, which led me to the story of Betty May and her violent encounter with Aleister Crowley (which incidentally wrote the Book of Lies, which is also falsely called BREAKS: the Wanderings or Falsification of the One Thought of Frater Perdurabo, which Thought is Itself Untrue).


Betty May

Betty May was issued from the lowest of the low class citizens in London of this early 20th century. She experienced a harsh life, drug addiction, prostitution, gang lifestyle, violence… She married a really close friend of Aleister Crowley, and took part in a variety of magick ritual. She wrote a book (of lies, ah!) in which she explained in great details her life in Crowley’s abbaye.

The main story was about the death of her husband. Allegedly, Crowley asked him to behead a cat and drinking his blood. The story goes that he died two days after this ritual. She would have went to Crowley, crazy with rage armed with a gun with the intention to kill him, and fired on him two times; one time she missed and the second time the gun blocked. May sold this story for a relatively low sum of money. She was then dragged to court for defamation, and it was found out that her husband died from complications after having drank dirty water directly from a stream. Crowley craftily answered to this cat story: “There was no cat, no animal, no blood, no drinking”. What was there, hmm? (Lie by omission, perhaps? Will never know, DUN DUN DUN.)

Now, killing a sick cat for a ritual, it could happen… It is a convincing story when you are trying to manipulate popular opinion against a notoriously hated man. At the same time, you are get emotional support from the masses AND you have an excuse for your murderous fit of rage of losing your sickly husband. Hey, everything works. Except this is not true. This is a combination ofGREY and BLACK COMMISSION LIES.

Pathological liars need support to justify a situation in which they found themselves vulnerable… They market their images to justify or cover-up their flaws. Betty May described herself as a “wild woman” (to my exasperation a Tiger Woman) to excuse her pathological need for violence, control and, why let say it, her own version of Free Will. The scary part is that she seemed to believe her in her own lies, in her status of victim. She also disappeared quietly into the world when the heat was on her. How can she call herself wild woman? Huh? Is that what wild woman do? Making money and fame on someone’s back?

CONCLUSION  (or opinion?)

We come across all kind of lies, daily. Ranging from a simple “I feel fine today” to a complex lie about their mother being in a coma to be able to receive some comfort for a totally unrelated reason… But lies starts by not being able to stand in truth.

My own experience with liars and lying drives me to believe that lying is a tool that is often misused and that came take over a whole life, then it becomes a program that define one’s actions and if that person is not able, or not willing, to stand in truth about the reason behind their habit of lying, it becomes an inherent trait of character. And this my friends, is where leads the pathof lies. You’ve become, and shall forever stay, a little shit.goodbye you little shit.jpg

Yours truly,


Coyote Impertinent

Captain’s log: Scratching the Tiger Medecine

Tiger, Tiger, burning bright / In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye/ Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
– William Blake

I often say that I am like the tiger, beautiful, mysterious, powerful, on the endanger list, in a nutshell, better than everyone else! But seriously, when I observe the Tiger I do so with tremendous respect and a healthy dose of fear. Anyone who crossed path with the Tiger (in dream, dah) will feel in their guts a mix of terror and wonderment. The stillness before the attack is hypnotising, and his striped face and piercing eyes are the last thing you will see.  RAWR!

I work out

Tiger is native to Asia and his territory drastically shrank since the early part of last century. He is found in Siberia, China, Vietnam, Korea, Indonesia, India and Philippines. He was introduced in Africa for conservation purposes. His natural habitat is the forest, where his stripes and golden orange coat is easily camouflaged. His camouflage ability, agility, rapidity and strength are what make him a terrible predator. He reigns on his territory like a king and the only time he is in contact with his specie is for mating. Baby tigers, born blind, stay with their mother for 2 years before finding a territory of their own. Mature Tigers possess excellent sense of hearing and smelling and can see perfectly in the dark. The Siberian Tiger has the biggest build of all big cats.

In the Chinese tradition, Tiger is the third animal of the zodiac (and my very own sign!). On his forehead lay the Chinese character for KING. He represents the YIN concept, the passive energy, the feminine and night, in opposition with the dragon. However, as the Yin Yang prescribes it, Tiger also bears a part of solar, masculine, active energy, symbolized by the fiery color of his fur. It is why bearer of the Tiger Medicine are people of extremes, of dramatic intensity and are completely passionate or completely detached depending on situation… they have difficulty with balance. This will make them live a complete array of experience, ranging from divine to dangerous. People with the Tiger medicine surrender to their raw will power in order to survive through the worst situations.

A tiger leapes through a flaming ring of fire
I don’t even

When you think about a Tiger, you can picture it in a National Geographic documentary at the peak of its physical and mental strength, eating his prey and basking in the sun like a king… or in the circus ring, without teeth or claws, in chains or performing. Even under these conditions, Tiger seems to shine with dignity and an aura of power that makes you wonder when the attack will occur…