As I am slowly coming back from a kick ass workshop in Quebec, I’m starting to understand how the Spirit of Coyote is truly working, and why people are so wary of it.
(It is Loki’s work, but in other words, in other stories.)
Things I’ve learned about Coyote:
- Coyote has a vibration that is disturbing to other therefore it is hard for a community to accept him and it is hard for him to be in a community;
- Coyote longs for relationships and solitude find himself trap between his desire to be with other and to be alone;
- Coyote is wise and dumb all at once;
- Coyote thinks he is great for everybody, but very few are happy with its teaching;
- Each time Coyote lands on his ass, he springs back up on his feet in less time it took to fall;
- Coyote is resourceful and works with what he is given;
- Everybody can enjoy Coyote, to a point. They prefer him as a secondary, submissive totem, because untamed, he can wreak havoc on any situation;
- It’s easy to blame everything that goes wrong on Coyote because his back is as large as the sky, unfortunately, no one should tell him what he does right, because he will feel empowered by it… and no one wants that.
Things I’ve learned about myself:
- I embody the Coyote;
- I have a hard time with managing my relationships;
- I’m a quick learner and I have a good sense of humility until I hit my quota, then I become extremely mean and proud and I will be massively reactive;
- I’m a pro at controlling my face, the way I express myself and my demeanor.
- I go as far as injuring myself to make a point or to keep my emotion in check;
- I can be good and help others, I can be neutral and save myself, and I can be evil just to get something across. Everything is a question of when to use each attitude;
- I have a hard time feeling accepted, even when I am, in fact, already accepted and appreciated;
- Despite my awesome attire, loud voice and witty comments, I don’t like to be the focus of attention for too long;
- I’ll always choose myself, my path, over any obligation, over anyone.
When I was in process during the workshop, Blue Jay came up. L said that Blue Jay represented Bonds, Joy, Mating, and Partnership… all of the things I was being challenged on when it came to my path and Coyote.
Blue is the color of my totems, I should have known. Blue Jays are the most wonderful bird. They are from the crow family, trickster and flamboyant. There are Hopi tales about the Coyote and the Blue Jays and the outcomes are always pretty dark.
“Coyote was hunting to feed her cubs. Her and her husband had had the help of other animals to get their food before, when needed. But came a day where she found no prey to feed her offspring. She went up the Northern Forest near a human village.
There, Blue Jays were dancing in the trees. Seeing Coyote, they asked her to join them, told her they would lend her wings, tails and feathers. Happy to assist, she took off the ground, danced and sing exactly like they did. She did the sacred dance with them at three different places in the forest. At the end of the third dance, the Blue Jays took back their wings, their tails and their feathers and Coyote fell on the ground, dead.
Some days went by and her husband went looking everywhere for her. In his search he was careless and the dogs in the village sniffed him, and he was forced to abandon his search, thus leaving the cubs motherless. This is so that now, so many coyotes have to look for their food alone.”
It is interesting that in this tradition, Blue Jay and Coyote are enemies. In another tale, the Blue Jays trick the Coyote to throw out his eyes, by telling him it would make them all better after a hunting accident:
So they sang their little song again, the Coyote joining them, and as they sang the last word they all threw their eyes on the tree, the Coyote too. They then sang again, and all the eyes, except those of the Coyote, returned. The little Birds all laughed at him saying, “Your eyes will never return; you are bad (unáihu), you are taking other people’s things away sometimes, and that is the reason why your eye got hurt with that stick; your eyes will never come back; you are dangerous; and you are going to die somewhere.”
The Coyote was very angry and left them. As he could not find anything to eat now, he soon died. The place where he died was called Coyote-Death-Place (íshmo’mokpu) ever since.
In the Hopi tales, Coyote is the butt of the joke, always. I read quite a few of them and they always end up with Coyote’s friends tricking him into his death. The purpose of these stories is to explain one of the facet of Coyote: tricks being played on him due to his trust and innocence. Because above all, tricks are about trust, and trust talks about relationship.
Despite the pathos of it all, it is a bit fitting for what I have to learn. I have been having a hard time trusting other people because I get hurt a lot and easily. I understand that the people around me are not on a mission to hurt me or my bruise heart. But it will happen, because most people are lacks consciousness, and so do I. Frankly, I lack compassion most of the time to carry on the relationship.
Now, now. Don’t worry, I understand, I’m not only a Coyote, I’m a human being and I am not always obliged to go in beast mode to survive (in this day and age, that is). I need to let go of the wariness when it comes to relationships. There is space the coyote, the blue jay and their teachings. There is space for me and other people.
To spice it all up: It so happens to be the Venus retrograde, during which relationships become challenging. Great time for my retarded moon of relationship to pop up.