Let me be extra clear, I’M NOT PREGNANT (Verdhandi), never was (Urdhr) and I do not plan to be (Skuld) in the near or distant future. The theme was just really present during my exploration of Perthro. So from here on out on this post, when I write the words: “I’m pregnant” I AM NOT. Never was. I can’t stress that enough.
So, what I learned about Perthro was mostly about living paradoxical states, living many realities at once. A bit like actions in the dream have their own consequences and possible outcomes; everything could be and has already happened. Everything has yet to exist. It speaks of the Norns, keepers of the fate, Urdhr (what was) Verdhandi (what is) and Skuld (what should be). But don’t quote me on that, quote this woman.
Aside from the obvious game of chance that the form of rune represents (lot-cup), it suggests the moment where an action can create two outcomes (or more! But let’s keep it basic). For a period of time, both are possible, both are real. What’s written or unwritten at this point doesn’t matter. In this place where “fate” and not “destiny” is at play.
What was the most impressive about my exploration of Perthro was the intensity of the initiation and the definitive realness of the outcomes. I lived the “what could be”. For a while there, I was pregnant and I was not.
I pictured myself as dutiful mother, bringing little Zachary (yes, the kid’s got a name, deal with it.), from daycare to karate, then from school to piano lessons, then to his grand-parents up North, to his grand-parents in another country… then at one point he’d refuse the food I cooked for him every fucking night, just because he’s got a mind of his own and his own will. Then he decided that karate and piano lessons are lame, and everything he wants to do is spend his life on Facebook and on Tumblr while I work my ass off to get him through college then university, and then he forgets to call me at my birthday, then at Christmas, then he puts me in a home then I become old and bitter. The only thing keeping me alive is the pale recognition of what could have been if I didn’t got pregnant in 2015: I would have become a shady author that wrote impossible to relate-to books, that would have die forgotten at 82 in my soil diaper and eventually got eaten by my dog Miko, the fifth. One or the other. (No, no balance for this story. Deal with it.)
So, what is the difference between fate (Perthro) and destiny (Nauthiz)? I feel fate is not something that is written, without a defined form, like a set of forces that will be happening regardless of what you chose to do… like the wind. The invisible push and pull of something greater than you. That “irresistible force” that drives you.
For example, if your life was a book, Nauthiz would be behind the plan and Perthro would the irresistible force that makes you start your journey. Or one could argue that it is the author that is unable to fill the holes in his plot… you know? An irresistible force pushed her to open the door TO HER FATE! Well, thank god that we are not in a novel and that the rules that are upon us are much more shape-able and mysterious. Perthro do not need a reason to exist, doesn’t need any justifications.
“Me and you and you and me. No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be.”
What was that? You’re asking me why I’m quoting irrelevant 70s songs? GFYS, it explain perfectly the cause and effect of Perthro and Nauthiz. No matter what you are and what you have, what your luck is and what you end up doing, you get to where you need to be. (Which in the pregnancy stories, is being disappointed and killed by the thing I love… hum. I definitively need to work on a more positive outlook on life.)
This article incredibly difficult to write. This rune will require another good exploration, because I feel there is a lot I didn’t get to explore… oh wait. Isn’t it exactly the concept I’m trying to explain since the beginning? Ugh.
See you, toots.