During the month of work I did with NAUTHIZ (No-thiz; need-fire), I realise that the core of this rune lays in recognizing the difference between NEEDS and DESIRES and IDEAL and DESTINY. So for me, this exploration was about getting my ass out of my head and deciphering my desires from my needs and my ideal from my destiny (yeah, just that).
The overall meaning of the rune would be:
- Recognition and protection of personal needs;
- Recognition of unfulfilled needs;
- Feeling of urgency;
- Work you need to do to get to where you need to be…
- and more! (lol, go fuck yourself, I’m writing this article from the top of my head.)
It is easy to confuse the concepts of desires and needs in our day and age. We get virtually everything we want, our “needs” are fulfilled instantaneously. Like on a phone game, we get rewarded every time we complete a level. Our brain is like, yay! I did some thing a little difficult (or I paid for it) and then I get candies! I shall get candies every time I accomplish something new! That must mean I actually accomplished something good.
We are just actually addicted to rewards. You don’t want to finish a level, your brain is looking for its dopamine rush. What does it tells us about the world we live in? How come we had to create a system of psychological addiction in order to feel accomplished or feel good about ourselves? Applied to the real world, most of the time you’ll get no rewards, no encouragements, no taps on the back for fulfilling your needs. The only thing you should be looking for is the appreciation of your own efforts. Believe me, it totally sucks, but the appreciation has to come from within. Nobody is going to give you a trophy to be able to take care of yourself.
And it got me thinking about my own attitude towards my NEEDS. I realised I got a lot of desires and that fulfilling them took most of my time! Often to the detriment of my needs. I’m looking for external approbation A LOT. What for, exactly? I asked myself:
- What are my NEEDS?
- Are there some of them I am not tending to?
- What are the desires and am I putting before my needs?
- What is so compelling in satisfying my desires instead of my needs?
[You wont get the answers cause, sadly I’m not really thorough in my introspection when it comes to squishy emotions. The personal story in upcoming article. ]
I realise that the main difference between my desires and my needs is a question of social behaviour and years of intricate programming. Obviously, I need to nourish my body, heart and my soul, and it’s not like I was lacking anything according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (which I profoundly hate). Granted, I might be a little anaemic in certain stratum, but hell, my structure is not THAT BAD. So instead of working to get to strengthen myself and cultivate in depth, I try to get everything within my reach, regardless of what it might bring me may it be important and nourishing or a load of effervescent bullshit-concepts aligned together. (Much like this article.) (Hey! shut up!)
Then that would leave the small question of DESTINY, Dr. Impertinent?
Ah I thought you might ask that.
We set goals within the paradigm of our persona that is dictated by what we HAVE, the fruit of our desires. And today, here in White Country, what we should want, what we should be doing, everything is already set up and pretty much attainable. Easy, cheap and clean. I’m not going to bore you with the traditional example of getting a job, getting a girl, getting prego, getting a house with a white fence, because that would be to simplistic and uni-dimensional. I truly believe that this path is a viable one. After all, who am I to say that contributing to society, demographic and economic growth as well of falling in love is not a viable DESTINY? That everyone that ever lived it were dead wrong? Lol, what kind of blind fool would I be?
In fact, this became clear to me as I was exchanging ideas with a friend about the Luciferian philosophy. When God created the intelligence, the light bearer appeared and declared that he wouldn’t be Servitude, he would be Freedom! `*I’m well aware that I need a source here, shut up. Not to be a pain the arse of Lucifer-san, but to me, it’s only logical that if one choose the path of Servitude, the right hand path, like Jesus, Martyrs and the Saints, they are in fact choosing pursue their destiny, therefore their own version of Freedom. It’s not something that you can compare, there is no structure or rules to follow or standard goals to reach, in my humble pseudo-theological opinion. Oh dear. I got a little off course here.
But not everyone has a destiny that fits into this ideal. To me destiny is something obscure and small that will grow and become inevitable as soon as you start to listen and tend to you needs. From what I gathered from my exploration of Nauthiz, this the first step to discover your destiny. Once you cut the bullshit, the illusions, the addiction and you redirect your attention and care to yourself… you might just be on your way to understand your destiny.
There is no one to lift you up, on this kind of path, there is no one above you to tell you you’re doing great (not true, there are some lonely stars, but the support goes to a certain extent). Beware of external motivations! If you need to be rewarded to walk, could it be that you are not pursuing your destiny, but an ideal instead?
(You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometime, you just might find that you get what you need.)