Lots of circles are ending right now, for me and for the people around me. It can only mean one thing, I’m in the North. To me, the North is the strangest, the haziest of all the four directions, the less palpable. It might be because I have not been here often. I have left a bunch of circles open that I have yet to close.
A lot of “endings”; a series I’ve been following for 10 years has ended, one of my colleague has found a new job and left, the Verdun circle has ended, I got my licence, ending a “circle of shame” that began when I was 16… also:
My boss just announced this morning that she’s quitting after 16 years as general director. She has decided to move on from a comfortable position and to leave a team she loved dearly to assume greater responsibilities, for a better pay and a better life for her family. It’s a clean departure, it actually felt light and joyful, even though half of the over-emotional staff began to cry. You could see that she was already pass the emotional state, looking forward, she was calm and at peace. I tried to lighten the mood and told her that she was brave and that I hope she’d have fun. I believe that the staff did realise that it shouldn’t be about their pain of losing her, but about her bright future. A moment to celebrate, to highlight, to dream…
To me, the North means integration, resolution and healing. I like to believe that the North brings resolve and determination to change the patterns that hurt us in the long run. But it doesn’t come from a warm place (no pun intended). It has to do with taking a good hard look at yourself, seeing more than the immediate, sometimes to take actions, sometimes to destroy things, sometimes to just let go. Not looking for the quick fix. It means seeing yourself for who you truly are and, whether you like it or not, to accept it. To adjust your aim. That’s what healing is to me.
Being able to come to term with ourselves and make the choices required to be able to start something new, and not just the same patterns with another skin. Being able to plunge into the brand new, but with resolve.
You don’t give up. That’s not even an option.